Day 268: good day

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Happy Sober Thursday…

looking forward to the weekend… ☺️

jen

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Day 267: just another day

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The second half of a sober year sure does lope along at a nice easy pace compared to the first half. Time is going by quickly and with much less internal drama.

Happy Sober Wednesday,

jen

Day 266: rememberings

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Tonight I’m doing something I hardly ever do these days. I’m sitting in the living room watching TV by myself. Everyone else went to bed early for one reason or another, and suddenly here I am, with just the doggies for company.

A few years ago, before I started to put any effort into changing my bad habits, pretty much all of my evenings were spent this way. And that’s how I liked it.  I looked forward to the time alone. And I looked forward to drinking without an audience. I’d sip and sip and sip my wine, staying up later than I intended, and sometimes finding my daughter waking me up, wondering why I wasn’t in bed. (She was probably twelve at that time.) The next day I’d check things over to see how much I’d drunk and whether or not I might have spilled. Often I would fall asleep in my chair, glass in hand. Sometimes when I’d bend down to pick something up off the floor, my long hair would end up in the glass of red wine. And then there’d be wine on my clothes, dribbles of wine here and there. I thought it was sort of funny at the time, but now it just seems sad.

Memories of those days make me realize how little understanding I had (for most of my life really) about the true nature of alcohol, how little concern I felt regarding its dangers. I think I believed I was immune to addiction. I never really considered it or took it seriously.

And now here I am, watching TV by myself, guilt free, poison free, craving free. Free.

I’m happy to have memories like this, to remind me why I quit, to paint a picture of the wasted time, to catch a glimpse of the sadness.

I remember, and I know I don’t want to go back.

Happy Sober Tuesday,

jen

 

Day 265: inspiration

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The first three blogposts in my feed today read like this:

100 Days

800 Days of Sobriety

Day 900!

What a great thing to see. And I’m tucked in there with my own 265. Makes me feel simultaneously proud and inspired. Thanks to those with big numbers for leading the way by continuing to share your story. You inspire so many to keep going by reminding us that there are big rewards down the road of continuous sobriety.

Happy Sober Monday!

jen

 

Day 264: pink cloud?

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Is there such a thing as a pink cloud at nearly nine months sober? Or is that term strictly reserved for early on when you’re in a sort of honeymoon phase? I’m hoping this newfound peaceful feeling is here to stay. My son said to me tonight – you were in a really good mood today! Yep, I was. And I had more energy than usual too. If this is my new normal, I’ll take it.

Happily Sober on Sunday,

jen

Day 263: more evolution

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I can’t quite put my finger on it exactly yet, but there is definitely a difference between say 150 days sober, or thereabouts, and beyond 250. And it’s all good stuff – easier, more peaceful, just plain better. In 2016 I remember feeling disappointed at around 150 days, sort of like is this it? I’m really not sure it’s worth it. I felt like everyone was going on and on about how great sober life was and I just wasn’t getting it. And pretty soon I was off and running with a “controlled drinking” plan. What I didn’t understand or even consider then was that I really just wasn’t there yet. Better things were yet to come.

I’m enjoying a productive and fun sober weekend. Hope you are too.

Happy Sober Saturday,

jen