T-14: Instead

I got my first comment yesterday – thanks Anne! Anne made the lovely suggestion I give myself the Christmas gift of sobriety. Or more directly – why not start now?

I should start now. I know I should. The reason I’ve decided to wait is that I’m about to go away for Christmas and early sobriety away from the comforts of my own home is more than I can handle right now. Not to mention early sobriety in my mother’s house with no place to escape to. So right or wrong, good or bad, I’m waiting.

Which brings me to the “instead.” Instead of beginning sobriety, I’ve been waiting. And doing a lot of thinking. Every day I think something like – when I quit drinking, what will I do instead? How will I do life sober instead of the way I’ve been doing it?

On my birthday I thought – how will I celebrate instead? – By making sure to choose a really amazing restaurant with food I could never make at home and challenging the server to bring a “very fancy” drink with no alcohol.

Last night at a dinner for my husband’s work where I knew no one, I thought – how will I navigate social situations instead? – By putting on my work face, the one I wear during the day. I know how to be charming sober.

In the evening when I want to unwind, I think – what will I do instead?  – Have a bath, listen to music, read, or just go to bed. I know numbing out with alcohol is not necessary.

When I drink with friends and we’re excited about the wine, I think – how will I do this instead? – By becoming the girl who brings really interesting, colorful concoctions to try. Virgin mojito anyone?

The list goes on and on because alcohol is everywhere and woven into every setting. I know how difficult it is to give up. I know it’s much more difficult than I’m making it sound with my “insteads.” And I know it’s pretty presumptuous and hypocritical to post this while still drinking.

But I also know that for me to succeed, I will need to be proactive with things to do and say and think, instead.

6 thoughts on “T-14: Instead

  1. I think this is actually a vital step. This is the contemplation phase, where you know what you will do, but are still planning how. Very smart.
    If you read any of my blog you will see I understand completely about mother’s and holidays and staying in their house.
    I will say that one benefit of being sober is I no longer accept that I am the difficult child and she the good mother.
    But it was very very hard to even get to that.

    Keep making the plans. Nothing says every day must be drinking just because I you will one day quit. Try to consider that you aren’t actually giving something up, you are just choosing not to poison yourself.

    And consider reading Allen Carr’s book the easy way to control alcohol. I found it very helpful!

    I am cheering you on. You will probably get tired of my comments. Lol.

    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love that your thinking hard about all of this! When the time comes, you are going to be so ready! It’s interesting that you are at T-14, and today is my 14th day without wine! Cheers to success for us both!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jeesh, I could be writing this blog. You sound just like me—the rationalization, the questions, the voice in my head. I’m on day 90 today and originally started with a 100 day intent to lay off the wine. I too am now thinking I could be a “normal” drinker, but a dread in the back of my mind knows it’s a slippery slope. Keep writing. I may have a couple drinks after 100 Days, but plan to jump back in to the alcohol free zone. I’ll travel along with you!

    Liked by 1 person

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