I got my first comment yesterday – thanks Anne! Anne made the lovely suggestion I give myself the Christmas gift of sobriety. Or more directly – why not start now?
I should start now. I know I should. The reason I’ve decided to wait is that I’m about to go away for Christmas and early sobriety away from the comforts of my own home is more than I can handle right now. Not to mention early sobriety in my mother’s house with no place to escape to. So right or wrong, good or bad, I’m waiting.
Which brings me to the “instead.” Instead of beginning sobriety, I’ve been waiting. And doing a lot of thinking. Every day I think something like – when I quit drinking, what will I do instead? How will I do life sober instead of the way I’ve been doing it?
On my birthday I thought – how will I celebrate instead? – By making sure to choose a really amazing restaurant with food I could never make at home and challenging the server to bring a “very fancy” drink with no alcohol.
Last night at a dinner for my husband’s work where I knew no one, I thought – how will I navigate social situations instead? – By putting on my work face, the one I wear during the day. I know how to be charming sober.
In the evening when I want to unwind, I think – what will I do instead? – Have a bath, listen to music, read, or just go to bed. I know numbing out with alcohol is not necessary.
When I drink with friends and we’re excited about the wine, I think – how will I do this instead? – By becoming the girl who brings really interesting, colorful concoctions to try. Virgin mojito anyone?
The list goes on and on because alcohol is everywhere and woven into every setting. I know how difficult it is to give up. I know it’s much more difficult than I’m making it sound with my “insteads.” And I know it’s pretty presumptuous and hypocritical to post this while still drinking.
But I also know that for me to succeed, I will need to be proactive with things to do and say and think, instead.