Day 21: Perspective

I finished Cupcake’s memoir today. Very inspiring. It made me feel like I should quit complaining about giving up wine and just get on with things. After all, I have a pretty great life and if this is the biggest sacrifice I have to make, then so be it. Plenty of people would love to trade problems with me I’m sure.

As I was reading, it also occurred to me that the really good part of her recovery came after a year, or even longer, sober. And, come to think of it, every time I read a memoir related to sobriety I feel a little surprised when it keeps going beyond a year sober. After all, the big stuff happens in the first 90 days, right?

Well, this got me to wondering – were the changes I saw after six months of sobriety perhaps not the only ones to come? Is it possible that I stopped “five minutes before the miracle” could happen? What would life be like now if I had kept going?

I do recall feeling a little let down sometimes. A sort of – is this it? feeling would come over me. Now I’m thinking maybe I didn’t give it enough time. Not only time to get over the compulsion to drink, to find healthy sleep patterns, and to relearn how to entertain and self-soothe without alcohol. I pretty much accomplished those things. Maybe I didn’t give it enough time to gain what I really needed for long term sobriety  – a completely new perspective. To see alcohol for what it really is and to know deep down that I don’t need it in my life.

Ok sober warriors – you know who you are – tell me please, how long does it take? 🙂

Still a bit feverish today but I do think I’m on the mend.

Happy sober day,

Jen (without wine) 😉

6 thoughts on “Day 21: Perspective

  1. It goes on and on. Every year just gets better.
    But I would say year one is all about getting through things. Life becomes better, but at the same time I know I was forced to realize much of my perception of things was wrong.
    Year 2 is familiar, so things are easier, more fun and bright. From that point on the possibilities are limitless.
    It’s worth it. Immensely.

    Anne

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I had 10 years, 8 months of sobriety before my relapse 2 years ago in 2015. The number 1 thing that helped me years ago when I quit was my attitude, and that was, “I can live my life happily without alcohol. I am not going to give myself permission to drink.” It was a process for me to embrace this attitude again – I just could not achieve it. Until recently. I have this “no options” attitude again. It’s a critical mindset for long term success and it’s cultivation in our minds can take some time! Once your mind embraces that attitude, staying sober becomes much easier – especially once you get through that first knarly 100 days.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hey Jen! Hope you are feeling better.
      This post, and the comments are so valuable.
      I am finding, in my fourth month, that I am really hanging on to the wisdom of the “long timers.”
      Some days, and even weeks, it seems to flow along easily. Some days, and even stretches of days, I feel flat, a little sad, and miss the wine. I think I don’t miss the wine, actually at all, but I do miss the idea of wine sometimes. I like how Anne says the first year is about “getting through things.” In many of the books and online blogs I’ve read it sounds like the first year is a lot about adjustment.
      I am holding on to faith that the moments of missing that old companion become further and further between as time moves on. Actually, they are a small part of the overall experience these days. Mostly, it is really wonderful to feel so much better and to be free of this thing that had a hold for so long.
      Fabulous 21 days to you! Can you even believe it’s been so many days already?!
      Deb

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Thanks for this post Jen. It is exactly how I am feeling. I made it 4 months last year and then relapsed. I was working with a life coach at the time had made the comments to me “Don’t you feel so much better? Aren’t you thinking so much clearer?”. And I was like…..”No, not really”. I really didn’t feel all that different. I wasn’t sleeping all that much better, hadn’t really lost any weight, and hadn’t really had any great “aha moments”. This time around (I’m on Day 47), I’ve been reading more books and blogs and like you, realizing that maybe I didn’t give it enough time. It’s a process and I just need to be patient. Also, last time I don’t think I really stopped and realized all the little ways life was changing for me. I was just looking for all the big changes. 🙂

    Here’s to sobriety and the good life for us all!

    Liked by 2 people

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