Day 37: Seasons

As I have mentioned before, I quit the wine for about six months in 2016. More specifically, I was teetotal from the end of May until nearly the end of November. At first I called it my “sober summer” and then after 100 days, I decided to go to 180. (And then one day I realized 180 was roughly six months and The Voice decided such a big number gave me bragging rights and I ought to go ahead and quit the quitting – see Day 7 for more on that).

Anyhoo, sober summer was my experience with quitting the last time. Some friends wondered why I would quit in the summer since it’s such a social season and a time when we do tend to drink quite a bit more (where I live anyway). Well, of course, I didn’t choose to quit in the summer. It just happened to be summer when I decided enough was enough and I needed to try something different. But I was secretly a little proud of quitting during this season. Look at me having a sober summer – aren’t I an amazing disciplined person! Hah!

Well, obviously, this time around it’s winter. And I thought the quiet post-holiday time of year would be a great time to quit. I imagined myself practicing some lovely self care with baths and books and maybe some Netflix or something like that. And at first that was the case. It was wonderful to be able to hide out almost completely during the first two weeks of sobriety. But then I got the flu. And I lost my energy and my enthusiasm for much of anything. And then the grey of winter started to get to me. I found myself with no energy, no enthusiasm, and no sunshine or warmth (furnace warmth that dries out my skin so painfully does Not count).

Yep, when I made my grand plans for a sober winter, I forgot to consider my proclivity for SAD. It is a real thing in this neck of the woods and many other parts of the world I’m sure. Not that I would have waited to quit. I had to quit. I was a toxic mess.

So yesterday I did two things that made me feel better. First, I researched, and then asked the lovely husband to order online for me, a “happy light.” And he did it right away without questioning the $90 price tag. Perfect. And then later, I confirmed with said husband that although I have agreed to “retire into the woods” when the time comes, that agreement includes the caveat that three months of the year be spent someplace warm and tropical so that I can put my face into the sunshine on a daily basis from January through March. And he agreed. Ok.

Maybe life is worth living after all. (And it looks like I married ok too.)

Happy sober Thursday to my friends in sober land. There is literal and metaphorical sunshine here today. Hopefully for you too. (Especially for you, Anne.)

Jenwithoutwine (but with sunshine)



4 thoughts on “Day 37: Seasons

  1. This self knowledge is very powerful, Jen. It is what is making things so different for you this time around. For me, it helps to go to the gym in the winter; I am around other people working at taking care of themselves, the lights are bright, and I reward myself in the hot tub when I am done!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good for you, everyone I talk to that uses those lights say they really do help. Hang in there, the days are getting longer! Retiring in the woods with 3 months spent in the sun sounds lovely. It seems like you’ve got a keeper with that husband of yours 🙂 I am finding out that using almond oil on my skin after a shower works wonders for dryness. Congratulations on 37 days without wine!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I live in the Pacific Northwest of the US. This was the first winter I decided I had to invest in a sunshine light. It really has made a difference. That and vitamin D supplements. That and extra walks for the fresh air and to hear the frogs sing. That and giving up the wine. 🙂 January was a little hard for me too. Felt flat a lot. Felt like hibernating more than usual. Still better than being a toxic mess, I agree!

    Liked by 2 people

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