I went into a bit of a rage today. Not irritation or frustration, but full. on. RAGE. Why? Well, I blame white bread. What? Yes.
Ok, so the rage came after a string of smaller negative emotions. I received a meeting request for 8am on a Monday. From a not favorite person and related to a not favorite topic. At 8am. On a Monday. Grrrr…
I texted my husband about dinner and he didn’t respond.
I picked the daughter up from school and was annoyed by the teenage traffic and her incessant need to argue with me about trivial things. And her annoyingly predictable desire to waste money on unhealthy food.
And then I started thinking about the fact that it’s Friday and I’m not drinking and I have nothing fun planned for the weekend. This lead to – I’ll never have any fun again ever because I’m not drinking and the only fun thing in the world is wine.
Yes, this last bit brought on the rage. The Voice started yelling. There were curse words. And plans for deleting the blog, cutting ties with my supports, and heading to the liquor store.
But in the back of my mind I was wondering what was going on with me. I mean really. Why? These things are nothing new or special, nothing that terrible. And why the rage over wine so suddenly on day 38? I was actually feeling quite good about things this morning. And I did just about everything on my to do list. And I was able to work from home with my sweet doggies. All good stuff.
And then I remembered the bread. White bread. I was in a hurry at lunchtime, wanting to get all of my work done before leaving to pick up the girl. So I ate something quick and easy – a couple slices of French bread with butter. Just that. Lots of carbs and no protein. And by the time I left the house, my sugar level was crashing. And my blood was starting to boil.
I almost never eat this way, and now I remember why. Luckily, some trail mix saved the day. I guess it’s true what they say about HALT. Look out for feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired.
Be well everyone, and remember to eat well too!