Day 52: An Authentic Life

I am realizing, little by little, day by day, what it means to build a new life. Not from scratch, of course, but still new in many ways. And if this new life is going to last, it needs to be honest and real. It needs to be authentic.

I have spent a lot of my life worrying about what other people think. I have often, very often, made decisions or taken action in ways that I thought would please others. And I rewarded myself for those compromises with alcohol.

Well now I am done with all of that.

But what does it mean? Now what?

I think it means taking things slowly. I think it means relaxing into the process a little bit. This new life doesn’t need to be built in one day, one month, or even one year. The timeline isn’t important. What’s important is that the new life be one that I can sustain.

Will my new life include sharing this blog with my family? Maybe. But not today.

This is what I know so far about my new life:

It will include chocolate, puppies, fuzzy socks, candles, cuddling, presents, blueberries, coffee, and sunshine.

It will include working hard, but not too hard.

There will be people, but not too many people. Politics will be avoided. And complaining.

This life will include rules, but most of them can and will, probably, be broken.

There will be lots of books, and blogs, and Internet searches.

Time will occasionally be wasted.

Goals will be set, and projects will be done. But allowances will be made as well.

There will be shopping, baking, swimming, boating, organizing, and lots of sleeping.

There will be no wine, and I will take good care of me.





4 thoughts on “Day 52: An Authentic Life

  1. My brother, (the middle child) has successfully maintained his sober self for many years. I’ve noticed that his lifestyle is low key…he avoids the crowds, the hype, and will frequently pass on a family gathering. At first I scoffed at him, like how can he get away with not showing up to these “things” when I seem to have to attend? Well, MY sober self is realizing that hanging back and enjoying the safety of my family and home is where I really want to be. And that’s ok. Getting cozy at home, having honest conversations, enjoying the small things….now, I can get behind that!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am sitting here in the early morning, in my bed with my kitty and my coffee, with tears on my cheeks. Thank you for speaking so much of what’s in my heart, Jen.
    This post is so rich and full and authentic.
    It is hard being human sometimes. It is hard living in this country sometimes. It is hard choosing to live an authentic life sometimes. And sometimes it is a little hard to be without wine, or some way to unplug from it all.
    But without question, this journey of authenticity, of truly belonging to oneself, is absolutely worth it.
    Have a lovely weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

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