Obviously I should not drink alcohol ever again. I mean, seriously. Who writes a blog about quitting drinking without having a need to quit? Let’s be real here. And alcohol is clearly not a healthy choice anyway. So why not decide, and get on with things already?! If I change my mind when I’m 70 and opt to spend my golden years in a drunken haze, I’ll worry about that then.
Last night I was sharing with the husband a little of what I was reading (Annie Grace) and I said to him, “I think I’m just done with it.” He asked if I meant drinking, I said yes, and that was pretty much it. Actually, he replied, “that’s ok.” (ok?) And I said, “It’s not ok, it’s great!” (WTF?)
The part of the book I shared with him was this:
…anyone who illogically or unconsciously desires alcohol is addicted whether or not they are consciously aware. Anyone who feels fear at the thought of never drinking again is already emotionally dependent. If someone told me I could never eat another apple because they will eventually kill me, I would stop eating apples. It would be a logical decision, and it wouldn’t fill me with dread. While I may be a bit bummed, I would also feel relieved that I was no longer going to die early and thankful that the truth about apples and my health had come out. I would certainly quit eating apples as soon as I was presented with the evidence.
I know this feeling of dread, all too well. But I’m happy to report (over-fucking-joyed actually) that I’m not feeling it these days (but, to be honest, also still a little afraid of the dread coming back).
So here’s my decision – I am no longer drinking. For how long? Until further notice.
Today I feel grateful for…
1. an unmuddled brain.
2. a healing gut.
3. 80 days of good choices.
Happy Sober Friday,