I don’t drink because…
1. I like to keep a clear head.
2. I’m just not very good at it.
3. alcohol wrecks my sleep.
4. my life is more predictable without it.
5. I hate hangovers.
6. I’m too old for that shit.
7. I like wine but it doesn’t like me.
8. I look prettier sober. (bats eyelashes)
9. um..it contains ethanol, so…
10. sobriety suits me.