Day 104: sobriety, phase two ponderings

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I have trouble even remembering who that person was.

Through time spent focusing on marriage, and kids, and career, I think I’ve slowly lost track of me, or at least some parts of me.

So I’m asking myself…

What do I really like to do?

-As opposed to the things I need to do or feel obligated to do or the things I do just to avoid rocking the boat. So. Many. Things. And, of course, I used to allow myself copious amounts of wine to compensate.

Which friendships are real?

-As opposed to those friends mainly of convenience via family or spouse or work? Or, argh, drinking friends…

What are my goals?

-Are there goals besides marriage, kids, and career? There must be something else. Beware the dark side of boredom – a bottle of wine lurks over there.

I feel kind of sad/embarrassed to be asking these questions, but a little excited too.

I’m trying to think back to pre-career, pre-husband, and definitely pre-kid me. Who was that girl? What did she want? Well, she wanted career, husband, and kids!

But what else?

I’m sure I’ll think of something. 😉

jen

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “Day 104: sobriety, phase two ponderings

  1. Yes. Once the eyes are open and the inner critic settles down we begin to heart our true heart.
    That is where we find contentment.
    Give yourself time to reacquaint yourself with you. It’s amazing.
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I understand this completely…often wonder is this all there is? Where did the girl go that was going to run the world? I miss the feeling of thinking anything is possible? I mean logically alot is still possible BUT decades of self talk make it hard to suss it out.☺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I felt exactly that…like I had missed my chance.
      But over time I realized I was wrong. I never needed to be famous or spectacular. I needed to be me. By doing that I can actually change the world, in a quiet and gentle way.
      Time changes perspective so much. I let go of so many expectations and so much approval seeking that I never needed!

      Liked by 2 people

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