This has long been my favorite Maya Angelou quote. When I first discovered it, I loved it right away and felt like it defined perfectly what I was striving for in life. And at that time, I felt pretty successful.
And then, not too much later, came The Time Of Struggle. I’m not sure whether or not I liked myself during that time, but I definitely didn’t like some of the things I was doing. And looking back now, there were many more things I shouldn’t have liked but didn’t seem to take note of at the time.
Things like… being in a foul mood every weekend morning…or trying to take a nap amongst the dust bunnies under my desk at work… or accidentally locking my husband and daughter out of the house before going off to bed… I could go on and on. Some things made for funny stories (if told in the right way and in the right company), but when you put too many of those funny stories together, it begins to paint a picture of a pretty sad life, built upon a decade or so of drinking “just a bit too much” just a bit too often.
And now, 150 days sober, I am back to liking most of what I do, and how I do it. And I’m liking the person in the mirror a good part of the time too.
Side Note: If you remember some of my previous Friday posts, you know how difficult Fridays have been for me. Well, that particular struggle has really leveled off lately. Now when I think about going out to dinner on a Friday night, I look forward to the relaxation and good food instead of obsessing over the lack of wine. I can’t say that I don’t miss it, but the emotions around it have definitely dissipated.
And I really enjoy going to bed sober and sleepy. It’s lovely to drift off to sleep the natural way (instead of, you know, passing out with my contacts still in).
Happy Sober Friday,