In February of this year, right around day 60, I wrote the following email to sobriety coach Belle:
My fear is about the future, that no matter how long I’m sober, there will always be times, here and there, where I feel a loss. At this point, I have a hard time imagining something that will get me excited in the way looking forward to a boozy night used to. That’s sad, but true.
Can you remember how you felt looking forward to drinking? And can you give me an example of something from your sober life that makes you feel excited in the same way?
Today on a blog I saw someone asking something similar to this. And that got me to wondering what I think about it now, more than 100 days later.
Was that excited feeling real excitement or was it just my addicted brain offering up dopamine to ensure the alcohol was truly on the way? Why else would someone be so excited to consume something that’s actually a depressant?
I’m not sure I’ve felt that rush of excitement over anything else. Maybe really good cake? No, not in the same way. A fun weekend on the horizon? Happy feelings of expectation but not with that burst of energy too.
Maybe it comes down to the different sort of fun that goes along with having a more peaceful life in sobriety. (I wrote about this on Day 127: sober fun.)
I’m not sure.
Is there something you get a rush of excitement over in the same way the expectation of alcohol used to provide? I’m curious to know.
Happy Sober Saturday,