Day 177: there are worse things you could be

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I hope you all had a chance to read the beautiful post today from byebyebeer celebrating her seventh year of sobriety. It’s a lovely affirmation that living alcohol free truly adds to our lives rather than taking away.

Part of what she talks about relates to being ok with who you are. And her description of herself so resonated with me, I’d like to share a little of it. I suspect many of us will see ourselves in this description.

At certain (okay, many) social events, I feel that same third-wheel wallflower paralysis I remember from the eighth grade dance. I still somehow say too much for someone who talks too little. I still prefer the company of cats and dogs and certain children to most people and look forward to dessert and bedtime more than is probably healthy.

This is me. So very me.

And then she goes on to say –

These used to be things I wanted to fix and believed I could, especially once I got sober, but more and more I think, eh, there are worse things I could be than me.

This really got my attention. There are lots of things we want to fix or change in sobriety because drinking too much naturally results in the need for some fixing and changing. Yes, we probably need to work on being emotionally and physically healthier people. We need to repair some things, clean up some messes. But we shouldn’t feel that we need to change who we are at our core. Being a little awkward, feeling uncomfortable in a crowd, or wanting a simple quiet life are not character defects!

So maybe I will always have an aversion to exercise, a propensity toward alone time, and a tendency of saying the wrong thing in a social setting. Maybe I will continue to dislike phone conversations, avoid conflict as much as I can reasonably manage, and look forward to a daily dose of cake.

There are definitely worse things I could be.

Happy Sober Thursday,

jen

 

5 thoughts on “Day 177: there are worse things you could be

  1. Thank you! And now you’ve described me in your propensity for alone time and saying the wrong thing, or at least feeling that way, in social situations. Certain realities force me to face social discomfort more – job stuff, having kids, etc. – but I no longer expect to crack the code, which I know doesn’t really exist. It may always be something I struggle with, but it won’t always look and feel like this.

    Liked by 2 people

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