Day 180: break the cycle

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You can’t unknow the effect alcohol has on your life, but holy shit can you turn a blind eye to it, justify it, or smooth it over in your mind.

From everything I’ve seen online and from my own experiences, this is how the cycle seems go:

1. Drink (repeat for a while)

2. Drink too much

3. Experience negative consequences

4. Decide to drink less (repeat steps 1-3… for months…or years)

5. Experience worsening consequences

6. Wonder if you should quit

7. Struggle some more (repeat steps 1-6… for more months… or years)

8. Quit drinking

9. Feel better

10. Forget why you quit, or feel like it’s hopeless to try to stay sober, or decide your brain has been cured, or just say fuck it and give up

Go back to step one (and repeat for months or years until you figure out how to break the cycle)

Once you figure out the right tools and support, getting to step nine is manageable. It’s getting past step ten that’s a bitch.

Let’s break the cycle.

Happy Sober Sunday,

jen

4 thoughts on “Day 180: break the cycle

  1. Yes, yes, yes. I felt so in the mood for drinking yesterday. I didn’t give in, but I just kept thinking that ‘forever’ seems so impossible. But at the same time, I know that it won’t take much to go sliding back down into the booze trap and be right back where I started again. How do people lead happy, permanently sober lives? I wonder if I have it in me to do that. This is so hard sometimes xxx Thanks for the post 👍

    Like

    1. I never really think much about forever. But somewhere along the lines I had a deep realization (spiritual awakening?) that sobriety was vital to being awake and aware. And I stopped even considering drinking again.

      It took time thought. And therapy. And tears. And lots of yoga.

      Anne

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes. There is a complacency that sneaks in.
    I think that’s why 12 step programs focus on just today, and ending the day by thanking an inventory of how things went.
    By doing this we don’t forget to notice just how amazing we are.
    Hug
    Anne

    Liked by 2 people

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