Day 195: not always easy

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Quitting alcohol after twenty plus years as a drinker definitely affects your relationships. This is sinking in for me and others in my life.

And it makes me feel sad. And a little scared.

But I still know I’m doing the right thing.

And I suspect that in time everything will work out just fine.

Happy Sober Monday,

jen

9 thoughts on “Day 195: not always easy

  1. Yes, you are doing the right thing and yes everything will work out fine. But yes, this is real and true and sad and scary. I think we go through stages and this is definitely one of them. One of the hardest ones for me really. But those relationships evolve and it all gets better. The relationships that don’t survive it were not of value anyway. I’m at Day 801 and I got through the sad times where I felt quite rejected by friends. And questioned my friendships. But I stayed the course, leaned on my supports, and it’s way better now. No More Sally wrote a good post on this about 6 months ago. If I were tech savvy I’d post it here but I’m not. Her post and the comments were great. Hang in there! You are on the right road. 😊

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  2. This was really hard for me. I had to make myself understand that the reaction of others is really about them and either their own relationship with booze or their inability to understand my difficulty because they are normal drinkers. Friends felt uncomfortable drinking around or planning to drink around me. So they left me out. It really hurt my feelings. They either thought I couldn’t handle being around alcohol or my presence was a buzz kill for them, or both. I’d be sad but then also realize that while I can be around drinkers and not be tempted, it isn’t actually fun for me. So not being invited was actually fine as it would have been annoying anyway. Now that I’m farther along and they’ve seen that I can enjoy parties and outings where there is booze, I’m being included more again. I’m prattling on but what I’m trying to say is it’s about them and their feelings about booze or lack of understanding. Just keep being you and it will all come right. Before I quit I worried that I wasn’t invited to things because I was an embarrassing drunk! Who would say and do anything, often offending people. I’d much rather be uninvited for being teetotal than for being a drunk idiot!

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    1. For me it’s kind of the opposite. I’m invited to things but don’t want to go or want to leave early. They want me to be the same as before, just minus the wine. It is about them not understanding. Thanks again! I’m going with being patient, and also asking for patience.

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  3. That would be really hard. Some of my friends think the same,but I don’t care I’m quite selfish and I’m ok with that! Took me a while to be selfish. I remember a guy once saying I’m only fun when I drink. Totally not true I realise 20 some years later. Was actually reflecting last night in a craving moment about how the ‘new me’ will sit with my friends and, well, how it will sit with me too. Everyone has a different journey to ride on this sober train you do whatever you gotta do to get through whatever the day or night 🙂 brings. I am so in awe of all you have already achieved, sober queen 🙂 also leaving party’s early is so in right now hehe. Happy day!

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