Day 223: mixed emotions

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Feelings of deprivation. But…

Happy to go to bed sober. Then…

Longing for wine. Confusing…

Want it but don’t want the effects. Later…

Sadness over son’s disappointing behavior. While also…

Happy to be on vacation with my favorite people in life. Next…

Frustrated over still having moments of longing this far along. Remember…

Glad to be this far along. Sometimes…

Pissed off when husband drinks. But still…

Not going to drink myself.

 

Happy Sober Monday. Hopefully will be stepping off the roller coaster soon.

jen

 

 

4 thoughts on “Day 223: mixed emotions

  1. Good on you! For being honest and for not going there. This is hard and that’s ok. Had a discussion with my workmates today about how I think so much about being sober when people can mostly just go without drinking for so long and have the odd drink or night on it here and there with no major issues. They can go months without a drink and without thinking about it and I think about it weekly sometimes a lot of minutes in a single day is consumed with the thought. But mine was a problem for me and heading towards being a problem for a whole lot of people because of me, so…… the thoughts of reminiscing will come and go but I certainly don’t want the effects just like you. It’s nice to be consciously tired. Also also also you are on your holiday some of your sub conscious triggers will be visiting you I dare say but you totally are rocking it and working through it and that’s both inspiring and awesome! Happy vibes for the rest of your vacay 🤩

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  2. There’s always a little longing for the way things were…mostly because we remember them with rose coloured glasses.
    Your son is becoming his own person. His errors are not yours to take on.
    Make sure he knows you love him no matter what. He will do things differently next time, whatever it is. Or not…kids are tough.
    Stillness and peace. Enjoy your time.

    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

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