Day 310: the sky

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I don’t know if it’s the holidays on the horizon, but lately I’ve been feeling “wobbly” (as Belle would say). I’m not craving alcohol directly. I’m just tired of the whole thing somehow. Tired of the journey and tired from the journey.

Thankful today for:

1. music, loud

2. Brene Brown

3. cookies with pink icing

4. Pema Chodran

5. working from home

 

Hope you had a happy sober Thursday,

jen

8 thoughts on “Day 310: the sky

  1. In my experience, being sober is odd compared to other things that take effort and are done over a period of time. You don’t hit your stride the way (I imagine) you do when running a marathon (nor is it increasingly overwhelmingly exhausting, thankfully). You don’t get so used to it that it fades into the background the way that stopping some other undesired habit (even quitting sugar) can. Instead it has phases and moods and weathers that aren’t linear and we don’t have words for and sometimes are uncomfortable (like your current wobbly feeling) because they come after things got smooth and nice for a while. The only thing I’ve figured out to do with this so far is to treat a wobbly like a craving and a) think of it as some piece of energy bubbling up to the surface wanting simply to dissipate (a piece of energy coming out of my drinking years that’s probably unknowable but complicated), b) think of that bubbling up event as good for me (good medicine), and c) send the wobbly a little love. True honest straightforward love, with some warmth or light or some other sensory comfort that it seems like maybe it’d want if it could talk. Yay for loud pink cookies at home!

    Like

  2. I think wobbly thoughts are necessary. They are our reminders that life requires some effort. And that pitting in the effort often turns out much more rewarding than we would expect.

    Hug. I love all the things on your list too.

    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

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