Read at your own risk. These are somewhat dark thoughts from a normally positive person. I don’t think them all the time, but here and there. I think writing it out might help chase them away.
My wobbly thoughts go something like this:
I didn’t drink as much as these people. I’m not like them.
I don’t have as many problems as those people. I’m not like them.
High bottom quitters have a harder time staying quit.
Thinking about how I’m doing/how I’m feeling is boring, exhausting, annoying, too self indulgent.
I’m tired of writing and have nothing to say. Or maybe I do have things to say but can’t find the energy to figure it out.
Maybe I’m depressed and that’s why I’m so tired. Is it possible to be depressed and not realize it?
Why can’t I do what my parents did – make some rules and then follow them?
Surely a year is long enough.
Lots of social events coming up, some I’m looking forward to, some not so much.
Someone recently said about our plans for Christmas- you will have a blast! And I thought, no I don’t think that’s quite right. I think it’ll be ok. Definitely not a blast. What does it even mean to have a blast? Do sober people even have them?
Yep, this sounds like a bit of a rough patch. Good thing it’s just weather.
Happy sober Friday,