Day 210: seven months

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Seven months of continuous sobriety is pretty cool. Probably haven’t been here ever in my adult life. (Even in my pregnancies I drank a little.)

As you may have noticed, I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. Not sure why, but I’m starting to suspect it’s an issue with my medication. I take an SSRI for PMS issues and have recently been much more diligent about taking it every day (instead of about every other day), so it’s been building up in my system. Resulting in some unexplained anxiety and generally wonky feelings.

Anytime I feel this way, my first tendency is to look around for the thing that’s upsetting me so that I can put it right, fix it, or chuck it. And these days the most obvious change in my life is, of course, the banishment of the wine. So my brain goes there, and right away a slew of negative thoughts about the teetotaling situation come streaming in. It makes sense, even though it doesn’t really make sense. Know what I mean?

Well, I’m not about to chuck seven months of sobriety over a little anxiety, that’s for sure. Especially anxiety caused by a medication that’s supposed to help my mental state (and usually does).

So onward we go.

And tomorrow I leave with my darling daughter for what is sure to be a lovely time, just the two of us, in Chicago. If anyone has the gall to offer me wine on this trip, my sweet girl is sure to say, “my mom is a sober woman!” Or something along those lines. She is hilarious. And I’m so lucky to have her in my life.

Happy Sober Tuesday,

jen

 

10 thoughts on “Day 210: seven months

  1. First of all 7 months!! You have surpassed the dreaded 6 month funk too, I’m well jel! Good stuff man. Second of all the very thing that attracted me to your blog as one of my mainstays is your absolute honesty about stuff. I love it, it’s refreshing and honest and yours. I visit everyday, as you would know hehe. I do wonder if there was something celestial going on around funks though cos I’ve had a tough few days around the whole ‘never drink again, what!!’ As well. Today I feel I’ve come through that not to say it won’t happen again I’m nearly 1 month sober so I’m sure things will be popping up when I very least expect it. Anywho I digress, I hope you have a fab fab trip and make many lovely memories with your daughter, such a treasured relationship indeed. And keep on being you, cos that’s what rocks about your whole blog. Take care out there 🌸 and have fun 😜

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  2. Yay for your guard daughter 🙂 My brain/mind also does the scanning horizon thing for what to blame for its weird/funkiness/depression/anxiety, and every time I’m amazed at (1) how convincing it is, and (2) how a physically produced sensation can be the originator of a story about ourselves and our life. I also have come to believe that seratonin issues are behind at least some of my stuff and recently got some help by taking seratonin precursors (a la _Mood Cure_ by Julia Ross) (tryptophan, specifically). I wish you a good figuring-out of your emotional landscape, and yay for refusing to trade 7 months of sobriety for … anything!

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  3. Seven months is a lifetime. And my SSRIs occasionally give me a problem, though I take a really small amount. At about 9 months sober, ye ole’ brain seemed to catch up with my sober body, and that funk has (almost) never returned.

    Congratulations, Jen! 😀

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      1. Yes, I think that is a low dose. I used to take 10, but now take 5 because my PMS problems are nonexistent. (I’m 55.) I should have been taking 20 back in the day, however, because it didn’t do enough to solve the problem. Instead, the doctor would just switch me to a different type of med.

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