Day 187: thinking, thinking, thinking

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Do you ever have imaginary conversations with people in your head? Me too.

I had one of these conversations running through my mind yesterday to the point that I felt like shouting- get out of my head! And this was someone whose opinion really shouldn’t matter much to me. Making its presence in my mind all the more annoying.

How about projecting opinions on people that they’ve never expressed? Like – I’m sure he thinks he would handle being sober differently (better) than this. Or – I’m sure he sometimes wishes I would go back to drinking. Or – I’m sure she thinks I’m making too much of things. Or – they probably think I’m judging them for their drinking behaviors. So many things. Maybe none true.

Then there are the predictions. I’m sure he’ll say something about my attitude soon. He’ll say – this isn’t working or this has got to stop. And then it doesn’t happen. Instead he offers to make me coffee.

Is this why people meditate? (Probably a good idea, but I tend to find the time for it when I’m tired, try to do it while lying down, and then fall asleep! Enjoyable, but not exactly the point.)

I remember an acquaintance once commenting, “I try not to think about things.” At all? She was a big drinker, so maybe there’s a connection there.

Do sober people think too much? Or is it just me? Maybe it’s partly this phase two navel-gazing period that’s to blame. Or maybe it’s the real me coming through after years of being silenced by alcohol.

I guess time will tell.

Happy Sober Sunday,

jen

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Day 187: thinking, thinking, thinking

  1. I definitely think too much, I’ve come to the conclusion that that’s one of the things that lead me to start drinking too much, that and the fact that I quite literally don’t seem to be able to relax on my own. My brain just seems to want to stay in overdrive all of the time, can’t say I have figured it out yet but at least I’m aware of it, baby steps?! lol

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  2. I’m another in the think too much camp. I’m also good at over dramatising in my mind what other people are feeling and thinking about me and/or situations… here’s a tip for beginners, they really aren’t thinking about me/it at all! LOL.

    I’ve tried mindfulness and meditation but it’s too noisy in my head for that ATM, however, sleep and no booze (pretty sure one is related to the other!) is helping with that.

    Baby steps are better than no steps. Keep on keeping on.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yup, I definitely think too much. It’s an imbalance! So I try to do plenty of physical stuff too for a bit of yin and yang factor 😁 x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. There is a story about taking an elephant to market. If you just walk him through the market he will lose focus and grab things with his trunk.
    If you give him a stick he holds it and follows along.
    The mind is like this. It needs some awareness and focus, or it runs all over.

    I have pretty severe anxiety. The unending voice in my head was a big problem.
    Yoga has helped me find that quiet I always craved. Not all the time, but enough that I know stillness and peace is possible.
    It took a lot of time, practice and commitment to get to this. But, for me, it was necessary and worth it.

    Mindfulness doesn’t take anything but awareness. Just pay attention to whatever it is you are doing. See what happens.

    Anne

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  5. I have just had a realisation whilst reading this. Sober, my brain thinks about anything and everything, a bit like you have commented. Drinking however, my brain goes into a pretty calm relaxed state thinking about how great my life will be when I quit drinking, lose weight, get a new job, find a love interest. Maybe I drink to get to that stage of thinking anything is possible.
    Thanks for the interesting insight.

    Liked by 1 person

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